Summer of Tech Internship - My First Day

The first day of my internship at Summer of Tech should have been one of pure excitement and joy. I had come so far this year, looking back in March when I attended the first in-person boot camp, CV 101 with TradeMe. I had to clasp my hands together to stop them from shaking when I waited to talk to the recruiters after the event. In-person or online, I had challenged myself to speak at every boot camp after that. 

Since then, I’ve attended many more boot camps, and each time I would speak and let myself be seen, showing up became easier. Now I am here. I made it! I got an internship with a fantastic team (and organisation), and I was super grateful for the opportunity. But as my first day drew closer, imposter syndrome crept in. So did the ‘what ifs’. 

What if I over-exaggerated my abilities and skills? What if they realise they made the wrong decision? What if they think that I am something that I am not? 

I didn’t sleep very well the night before my first day. When I arrived at work, I was greeted with warmth and felt accepted right away - feelings of inadequacy were no longer berating me. 

Like dad says, dread is half the ordeal. 

Throughout the day, I had brief moments where imposter syndrome rudely invaded my headspace. I reminded myself, ‘I can do this, I’ve done this before, and I can do it again.’  

Fellow Summer of Tech alumni, If you have visitations from imposter syndrome, know that this is normal and appropriate when starting a new job. Know that it doesn’t make you incapable or ungrateful for feeling this way, and you are not alone.

Now go and show imposter syndrome who’s boss and ace your internship. 

You were chosen for a good reason.

This is the first blog post of a series by our 2021 Marketing Intern, Yana Brewster. Keep an eye out - she will be continually posting as her internship journey progresses!